Letter to Kevin Dolan
Well I was just checking my Google analytics and found out that I was now the third result for ‘kevin dolan.’ The only two sites beating me now are a Facebook result, and the annoying kevindolan.org. I did some research to try and figure out how to contact the owner of this website, and I decided to write him a scathing letter.
Here is a transcript of the letter I wrote him.
Dear Kevin Dolan,
I am writing to inform you of my disapproval of your use of the KevinDolan.com, KevinDolan.net, and KevinDolan.org domain names. I apologize ahead of time, if this email did not make it to the right person and you are not, in fact, the registrar of the aforementioned domain names. My research has led me to believe that this is you, however.
I am disappointed in the fact that you merely registered these seriously awesome domain names, and did not develop them into anything magnificent– especially, given the fact that you, yourself, are a web developer.
When people Google-search “kevin dolan,” they are disillusioned when they do not find a torrential downpour of awesomeness. I blame you, in part, for this abomination of the Kevin Dolan name– for registering, but not developing these websites.
So it is with this email that I inform you of my goal to beat you in the Google search results for the name Kevin Dolan. You see, I too am a web-developer of sorts, and I will stop at nothing to appear first.
That being said, our relationship does not have to be negative. I am offering to take these domain names off your hand, with a promise to develop them into something truly magnificent.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dolan
I actually sent this via email, a week or so ago, with no response. Because he failed to respond to me by email, I have decided to send him a letter by standard mail to see if that may ellicit a response.
I will include the following introductory paragraph to make sure he knows that I am serious.
I have attempted to contact you via email with no response. As a result, I have resorted to sending this letter to you through the United States Postal Service. I hope this letter finds you in good spirits.
Let’s show this imposter who’s boss!