Politcal Letters
I’ve always wanted to write my congressman, now I finally have the chance. I decided to write some funny letters to various politicians.
This letter was written to Rep. Hinchey, the representative of our area of central NY.
Just a little disclaimer, I’m not really interested in cocaine. It’s just a joke.
Dear Representative Hinchey,
I am a proud member of the 22nd district of New York– Ithaca to be precise.
I was just writing to inquire as to how far off we were on the whole legalized cocaine thing?
I remember specifically your ads promising legalized cocaine within 2 years, and I have to say I’m rather disappointed in the fact that you have not, indeed, legalized cocaine.
So on a scale of one to I’m High Right Now, how close are we?
Also, what can we do about my neighbor? She has so many ugly vegetables growing in the garden in front of her house. It’s really bringing down the neighborhood. Nobody wants to see that pornography on our streets. There ought to be a law against that… Hint Hint.
Thanks Chief.
I’ve always for one reason or another had a problem with global warming organizations. So I found one, and decided that I would write them a frightening letter. This is directed to the Stop Global Warming.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I recently spotted Global Warming prowling my neighborhood.
If you could please send one of your Global Warming prevention teams to Ithaca, New York, it would be much appreciated. I know we are a small town, but I think every town should count.
Please be prompt, as I have already detected marked changes in the temperature around town.
Sincerely,
Kevin J. Dolan
And last, but certainly not least, here I come to the rescue to save the world from economic turmoil… (by the way, do you wonder if anybody writes the White House actually believing Barack will read it?)
Dear Mr. President,
I was just doing some research and I think I have an idea how to solve this whole economic crisis thing.
It involves purchasing houses, and then fixing them up, and then selling them for more money.
I saw it on the late-night television and these people were making serious money; it seemed like many of them didn’t even go to college!
Write me back if you want to know the secret to finding these houses; it’s a good one!
Sincerely,
Kevin J. Dolan